Lucky Star Meadow
01:48:42 Starshine
looking to buy a lot of tack, any kind, for a bulk discounted price.
Pretty stables cz/sk
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Sunset horses
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Selling EEE KNN Colt! Very open to offers!!

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DragonFyre Estate
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Clearout auction. Will be FRd if not sold in auction. Will consider offers before auction starts. PM me to discuss.
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Legacy Falls
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Planning on leaving the game so IÂ’m selling all my horses, come check out the stables. Horses are 500 each
Painted Perfection
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Moon Glow Art auction!!

Ends 6/15

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Selling Sexed Embryos Colt 23k Filly 24k ea.

Also selling some pretty colour babies and mares! Need them gone to make funds for gelding army!!!

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Valhalla Acreage
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E bravery mares and E bravery geldings need them gone
Fluffy's Cosy Home
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Auction:
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I also have:
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MakeEm Fancy
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Widow Valley Farms
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Quality EEE+ AA broods and studs! Also available for reserve :)
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Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
  1

   |+| FeedBack Wanted! |+| September 8, 2022 10:06 AM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#1017497
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Hello! Names Roadkill! Or Alex for short, I'm currently working on a short book series for myself and others, it is a fan made series based off of the book series Warrior Cats. I am thinking of trying to publish it (after getting approval from the author who wrote the actual series) or share it with family and friends and soul really appreciate feedback on how it looks so far! I'm currently only working on the first book but there is another book coming soon if I finish the first one with enough time >U<! With that, I will paste the process of the book so far! (ONLY PROLOGUE,CHAPTER 1,CHAPTER 2, AND A QUATER OF CHAPTER 3 ARE FINISHED)
[ THIS SHORT STORY IS MADE BY |+|RoadKill|+| PLEASE DO NOT CLAIM OR STEAL THE WORK! Thank you! ]

BeetlePelt’s Dark Path

Beetle’Pelt’s

PROLOGUE

Brindle’pelt rush ahead of June’Bug and Beetle’Paw yelling angrily, Brindle’s voice was distinct due to his raspy tone and loud calls. Snow’kit could be seen being held by Brindle who had had her by the scruff. As June rushed after his father Beetle followed farther away, she stumbled once or twice which caused her to fall behind. Riverclan Warriors could be heard hollering after them chasing far into WindClan territory, WindClan caught the scent of them and followed RiverClan’s tracks closely. “Hurry up you runts!” Brindle scolded, Beetle had fallen so far behind she had to start running through the forest to hide from RiverClan. June’Bug jerked his head around to see that Beetle was nowhere in sight, he paused to see if he could spot her white coat. Beetle called out to June’Bug as he rushed to her grabbing her scruff and running to his father who had stopped at the ThunderPath, “Get behind your father!” Brindle yelled. June’Bug got behind his father placing Beetle’Paw down next to Snow’Kit, Brindle’Pelt had unsheathed his claws bearing his canines aggressively, as June did the same trying to help his father. RiverClan and WindClan had caught up to them cornering them.

CHAPTER 1

Snow’Paw pounced at a mouse pawing at it playfully, “Ain’t so quick and tough when you in my claws huh?” Snow giggled. “Quit playing with your food” Beetle’Pelt scolded, her tone acute and dry. “S-sorry Beetle..I-I was just trying to have fun! Like the g-good days? Remember those?..” Beetle turned her head to meet the eyes of Snow “Father and Mother wouldn’t be happy if their daughter was playing with her food.” Beetle said sternly. Snow looked down at the mouse and then dug her claws into its back “Yes Beetle..” It was a rainy evening, all the prey was out trying to get every last ounce of water they could before hiding again. Beetle’Pelt was sitting on a large box cleaning her paws of a finch’s blood, Snow was finishing her well-earned meal a few feet away. She had always tried to make the best of the situation that she had grown up in but Beetle talking about Mother and Father had made it hard. Beetle sniffed the air softly, her ears twitched as the rain fell. “Hide.” Snow quickly looked up. This happened quite often, Beetle freaking out about something, telling Snow to hide, not to mention getting crammed into a corner! But Snow smelt it too, not as well as Beetle but she could still smell it. Beetle groaned as she jumped down from her box and yanked Snow by the scruff “I said, HIDE.” “Okay!Okay! Can you at least be gentler!?-“ Beetle has covered Snow’s Mouth as they backed farther into the barn, a common rouge has wandered into the barn. He was extremely Wounded from what seemed to be a planned attack, all bites and scratches had been in places that would have easily ended his life in two swats. A WindClan warrior had been following close behind him, the warrior had a pelt of gold with one purple eye, the other white as snow. “Come on, they find you if you don't clean off the blood!” “I know, I know..” the rouge agreed “Why did you try to come back?!” The golden she scolded “I just thought..” “Thought what?! That WindClan would take you back?! They know the story, everyone knows the story!” What story is she talking about? Beetle thought. “I know but!- I had to have a little faith! Even though my Mother and Father are like the biggest Warrior story right now doesn’t mean that I can't try to be accepted back!” The wait is that rouge talking about Mother and Father? But- No it couldn’t be. The golden she sighed and looked at the rouge, her eyes filled with sorrow and sadness. “Junebug, Their still looking for you.”



CHAPTER 2

June’Bug?! Beetle couldn’t believe what she was hearing, she had seen what happened to him! But, she didn’t see what happened afterward. June’Bug turned to the corner his claws unsheathed “Come out you coward! Your not so good at hiding when I can hear your heart!” Beetle looked to Snow who was crying, She looked up to Beetle her eyes watery and pupils large. Beetle sighed and rubbed Snow’s head against her’s “I’ll be right back, don’t worry.” Snow nodded slowly and scooted farther away from the light, Beetle stepped out from behind the Hay bales, her black and white pelt shining in the light. Junebug's paused as soon as she came into few, his tail fell as well as his ears. “Beetle’Paw?” He whimpered “It’s Beetle’Pelt now like you would know” her face turned sour as her ears pinned back. June tried to walk over to her to rub her cheek against his but Beetle just stepped back, she knew her brother was too weak to walk more than a few steps. “Okay I get it, but where’s Snow’Kit? Well, probably Snow’Paw now.” A few tears ran down his face as he looked around hopefully. “She doesn’t want to see you, not after leaving us like that…” She hissed. June became Stern, unsheathing his claws yet again. “I asked. Where, is, Snow?” The golden pelted she just watched with a horrified look upon her face, looking at the two back and forth. “Are you deaf now? SHE DOESN’T WANT TO SEE, YOU.” June’Bug hissed “I deserve to see my little sister-!” “NO, YOU DON’T!” Beetle snarled swatting at June’s face, he winced at the pain-producing loud, terrifying sound, unlike any cat sound she’s heard. Beetle’s tail was swaying quickly as her claws scrapped at the floor. “This isn't how I thought you’d go out but times change I guess.” Beetle then lunged at June gripping onto his side and pulling him down, the only thing June’Bug could do is call out for help. Beetle overpowered him easily, so no one could even save him if they tried. Only when Beetle felt his body go limp is when she let go, he stepped away from his body staring at her own brother’s body. She had killed him, she had killed her brother.

CHAPTER 3

“What did you do?!” The golden she cried out,a hint of fear could be heard in her shaken voice, Beetle turned her head meeting her eyes. “He left us behind, knowing very well what he was doing!” Beetle yowled. The she was shaking but she towered over Beetle, the fact that she had witnessed a sister murder her own brother in cold blood is what made her fear Beetle.

Comment what you think of it so far and what you think would be good to add to this ^^

-RoadKill

|+| FeedBack Wanted! |+| September 8, 2022 10:29 AM

Hillcrest Equestrian
 
Posts: 43
#1017510
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This is really cool! My sister is OBSESSED with the Warrior's series
|+| FeedBack Wanted! |+| September 8, 2022 10:36 AM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#1017511
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Hillcrest Equestrian said:
This is really cool! My sister is OBSESSED with the Warrior's series


Thank you! I was obsessed with it for awhile but then lost interest, but seems I've gotten back into it haha. You should share this with her, she may like it ^^
|+| FeedBack Wanted! |+| September 8, 2022 10:38 AM


Munchkin Stables
 
Posts: 86
#1017512
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People who have never read the original series, would like to get a bit of background to the characters in your continuation, before jumping into the story.
|+| FeedBack Wanted! |+| September 8, 2022 10:50 AM

Former Stable
 
Posts: 0
#1017513
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Munchkin Stables said:
People who have never read the original series, would like to get a bit of background to the characters in your continuation, before jumping into the story.


Ah okay, i was going for a sort of Wings Of Fire writing, like how they do a prologue and such?

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