Sunset River Arabian
02:40:49 Athena
I really need to reorganize my page. It's a mess. And I have so much more art to show off. I just don't know what I want. Its overwhelming lol
Salem
02:35:17 Salem / Salt
Puck
Thank you! :3
FirstLightFarms
02:33:13 puck
If you go to news/this week's giveaway mare, you can use it on her :)
Salem
02:31:07 Salem / Salt
How do you use a giveaway ticket?
Salem
02:24:55 Salem / Salt
Outlaw RP!
-HEE Click-
Sunset River Arabian
02:21:05 Athena
Puck
got it thanks
FirstLightFarms
02:20:08 puck
it's random
Sunset River Arabian
02:19:24 Athena
I'm new to bravery training. Does anything help them gain more points in roundpen training or is it random?
Greenheart Stables
02:13:43 Green|Gree|Gen
Had a similar experience dog sitting for a family friend who had a roomba and a dog with an extremely upset stomach, god the sight and smell sometimes come back to haunt me lol
Grimm Acres
01:53:15 Grimmi
I'd throw it out the window
The Old Gods
01:51:32 Void Malign
I wouldn't want either of them sitting on it lol. They're both about 14 pounds
FirstLightFarms
01:49:22 puck
nightmare fuel, ven. omg

hahaha i've seen videos of cats sitting on the roombas while they go around
MoonRiverRanch
01:49:14 
XD couldn't agree more DD
Dash and Duchess
01:48:42 DD
a fitting name lol
-HEE Click-
MoonRiverRanch
01:47:02 
-HEE Click- His rating is ehh, but he's got Premium bravery-
Stormsong Manor
01:45:27 Ven
Our roomba plowed through dog crap on Thor's overnight pad and we never used it again
The Old Gods
01:45:05 Void Malign
I kinda want a roomba, but I think the cats would have strokes
FirstLightFarms
01:44:01 puck
omg the roomba is ruffling the carpet. sorry dogs. i thought they'd been messing with it this whole time
Cinnabon Ranch
01:43:44 
Its tack for me..
Cinnabon Ranch
01:43:22 
I'm broke -_-
Lol I'm rocking with a whopping of 74 ebs
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Forums > Rider's Lounge > Writer's Nook
  1

   Fantasy Novel - Need Feedback! - WIP April 15, 2022 07:25 PM


Rivendell Steeds
 
Posts: 1194
#980572
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Okay, so I got bored a few weeks ago, and decided to start writing a novel in my boredom. I've -technically- written a first chapter, besides this short introduction, but I honestly think I lost my imagination for it. I won't be posting that here (yet), however, here is the introduction. Let me know what you think!

I'm basically going to treat this forum as a wiki for this novel, and a place for suggestions on it. If you have any name ideas, let me know!

Pronuciation help:
Yilyviad - (Yee-Leh-vee-add)
Leolwin - (Lee-OH-L-w-ih-n)
Plyth - (Pl-eye-th)
Mythius - (M-ih-th-EE-us)
Ryenni - (R-ee-eh-nee)
Zykria - (Z-ih-cr-ee-a)
Octrey - (Awe-c-tree)


- Introduction -
The roaring winds sweep past as we go. The fearsome cries of the nearby fractures surround the cove. As the waves crash against the rough edges of the cliffs, so do the other riders. It’s just us. Us, against the swarms of the hideous beasts we call fractures. It always makes me sad to think these creatures were once leolwins.

A long time ago, we elves weren’t the only life-bringing creatures in Yilyviad, there were also leolwins. These magical beasts were giant, and beautiful. With wings like dragons, and the body of a canine, they ruled fairly over all other creatures. We lived in harmony with these creatures, but in the end, it was us who destroyed them.

Throughout history, elves were known to be fearsome warriors, and great allies, but that all changed when the plyths came along. The plyths were a form of corrupted elves that had been tortured and left for dead. Their hatred for our kind grew so much that they would cut their own ears off to not look like us. Soon enough, they sought to destroy the thing we valued above all.

On the day we call “The Accident to Change it All”, my youngest brother Mythius let in a plyth child. She told him her name was Ryenni, and that her ears had been injured in an encounter with a griffin. He led her directly to the heart of Zykria, looking to get her into a temporary home. It was then when she made her move. Using a concealed staff, she knocked out Mythius, and set a beacon for the plyth warriors to teleport to.

One by one, the leolwins were infected by the spells used on them, and all but a few were turned into ravengeous monsters. Many surviving leolwins fled to the upper regions of Octrey, to live in hiding. The rest coincide with us elves, helping fight against the plyths. Some are used as mounts in battles, others as decoys.

Extra Info:
Setting - This story takes place in 3026, in the far future. Humanity resorted to war, and ended up destroying most of Earth in WWIV. The elves stayed in hiding throughout the reign of the humans, but emerged to end the destruction and violence they caused. Most of humanity has died off, and all that remains of the humans are the half-elves; the result of the cross-breeding of humans and elves. Since the elves came into power in 2079, all magical creatures were able to return to thrive on Earth.

Inspirations - Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, The Unwanteds, Nier: Automata, and many, many more fantasy/equine novels.

Things to Note - This is a WIP. Not the finished, or even halfway done product. Also, this isn't a fanfic. Ideas may have aspects that other novels share, like magic, mythical beasts, etc. but no main ideas are ripped off/stolen.

What do you think I should add to this novel? Should I continue writing it? Feedback is well appreciated!

Edited at April 15, 2022 07:30 PM by Rivendell Steeds
Fantasy Novel - Need Feedback! - WIP April 15, 2022 09:26 PM


FirstLightFarms

Trivia Team
 
Posts: 3408
#980598
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Very cool concept! I'd be intrigued in where you go with it :)

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